Cindy Begel & Lisa Kite
May 6, 1982
Henderson Production Company, Miller-Milkis Productions, Paramount Television
ABC (television), Paramount Home Video (DVD)
Chuck the waiter
Mork is overjoyed that he and Mindy can finally let it all hang out when he meets Kalnik - an alien from Neptune who apparently is also married to an Earthling - and the four seem to have much in common. Things begin to go awry after Kalnik and Tracy return with Mork and Mindy to their apartment from a restaurant. Mindy overhears Kalnik refer to Mearth as a useless mutant and angrily kicks them out. She's unaware that evil Kalnik plans to force Mork to reveal his planet's ultimate goals on Earth, and that Tracy is not for real.
Sweetheart, why don't you go upstairs and get out of your wet slicker, OK?
No, I don't want to get out of my wet slicker, OK? I want to stay in my wet slicker! [launching into British accent] When will we see the whale, sir? When will we see the whale? Well, you can't miss it. They're quite large. They have Gregory Peck on it, just like this! And a little girl, she'll be on the bow just like this!
The storm is breaking!
Yes. I think you should go upstairs and change into your jammies.
I think you're right.
You know, the crew was out of line, anyway... they were talking mutiny, Mommy!
So, this couple, they are normal, right? I mean, Kal doesn't have three heads or, or eat wood or anything...
No, I don't eat wood, although mahogany does make croutons and they never get soggy. Hi, I'm Kal.
Hi, I'm embarrassed.
Awww. [to Mork] Ey, paisan! [they do a goofy dance together]
Kal, I'd like you to meet my main gal here, the light of my life and the one I give my extra pickle to.
Mork, you are the only person I could turn to... my life has fallen apart. I left Kal. I should've known he was evil when he laughed at Old Yeller!
Oh, that macho pig, macho pig!
I have tried to be a good wife. I washed his clothes, I darned his socks, I even jogged for him so he could sleep late. [she bawls on his shoulder]
Aww, aww, it's -- wait, wait, waitaminnit. [he puts a handkerchief on his shoulder] Waitaminnit, there we go. There we go, OK, there we go. Aww, come on, it's all right. Um, there. *sigh* Feel better?
Yeah. You're so sweet! I have to tell you. Kal didn't meet you by accident. It was all part of his plan. He was just using you.
Oh, I feel so cheap!