Tom Tenowich & Ed Scharlach
May 14, 1981
Henderson Production Company, Miller-Milkis Productions, Paramount Television
ABC (television), Paramount Home Video (DVD)
Orson (credits only)
Glenda Faye Comstock
Mr. Bickley is a bit down at his 50th birthday party because he regrets all the things he never accomplished. Mindy tries to comfort him with her assurance that everyone has such regrets. The fun-loving Glenda Faye suggests that the partygoers share their regrets and get better acquainted. Mork's curiosity is piqued as Mindy repeatedly makes excuses to avoid her turn. Finally, she whispers to Mork that the greatest regret of her life is very personal and that she wants to share it with Mork when they are alone.
Oh my God, I am 50!
Well, welcome to the half century club. So we're 50, so what? At 50 our lives are just beginning.
Yes! if you were a tortoise, you'd be just a baby.
And if you were an elephant, you'd be a teenager.
And if you were a dog, you'd be dead!
Oh, come on, Mr. Bickley, don't be so hard on yourself! I mean, regrets have nothing to do with age. We all have them. You know... things we didn't do, things we should have done.
Oh regrets, I've had a few, but I've... I've handled them my way!
Oh, what could you possibly have to regret, you little pixie pants?
Well, ooh, bless you! Well, the fact that my foot doesn't have a thumb, that my ears don't spin in the wind, and I never found out who Rula Lenska was.
Mork! Is that you?
It's me, Exidor!
No, I'm Exidor, you're Mork.
Who is that?
Exidor, the town loon.
I resent that, curly! I don't live in town, I'm a valley guy! I bring bad news, Mork. It's not going to be easy, I better sit down. I just got back from the doctor.
Exactly! He told me in Swahili I've only got 41 years to live! [hands Mork a rock] This is a note describing my condition!
[reading the rock] Gima batu lulamaka sibibue... shinamo wela tete kabuwe wawa... yo mama!